Through the Looking Glass
by garg-girl
Summary: Several students are chosen to take part in a Study Abroad program at a typical Canadian  muggle high school. Post DH.
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Through the Looking Glass**

by garggirl

All canon characters appearing in this fic are copyright J.K. Rowling.

No infringement of these copyrights is intended, and is not authorized by the copyright holder.

All original characters are the property of garggirl.

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**Author's Note**: This is a post "DH" fic. Because of all the trouble during the events of "Deathly Hallows," the Ministry decided that all Hogwarts students would have to repeat their school year. As such, the "Study Abroad" program was developed for the students who displayed talents above and beyond what they had learned in school during the final battle. A number of students were chosen to spend a year at a typical Canadian muggle high school.

**ADDED NOTE**: Snape is still alive -- explanation will come later in the story.

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_**Chapter 1: Down the Rabbit Hole**_

"Come on guys!" Hermione yelled up the stairwell leading to the boys dormitories. "I don't wanna be late!"

After a moment, Ron's head bobbed into view from above. "Geez! Hold your horses, Hermione. We'll be down in a minute."

Hermione huffed impatiently and plopped down onto her trunk. She was excited, one could hardly blame her. She had been looking forward to the Study Abroad program ever since she found she had been accepted almost a week earlier. The thought of casting a 'Hurry Up' charm on the boys quickly flitted in and out of her mind just as the sound of footsteps echoed on the stairs. Hermione jumped to her feet the instant they appeared.

"Finally!" she said hautily, bending down to pick up her dufflebag.

Ron, Harry and Neville each carried bags similar to hers, their trunks levitating two feet in the air behind each of them. Hermione cast a similar charm on her trunk and headed toward the portrait entrance.

"I wonder who else got chosen for the program?" Neville asked to no one in particular as the quartet wound their way through the castle.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I imagine most of the school applied. I just hope Malfoy isn't."

In a matter of moments, the group turned the corner into the Great Hall and Harry abruptly stopped. Sure enough, no more than five feet away, Draco Malfoy was sitting on his trunk. He was staring listlessly around the room, seemingly lost without his goons. With a frustrated sigh, Harry turned his gaze to the ceiling. "I'm being punished, aren't I?"

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Draco started, his features twisting up into a sneer.

Before Harry could reply, Hermione answered for him. "The Study Abroad program, if you must know."

"No, no," Draco rose to his feet, unbelieving. "There must be a mistake."

"No, Mr. Malfoy. There is no mistake." Professor Snape replied approaching the assembled group.

"What? We have to live with him for an entire year!" Ron asked, angrily.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley. You will." Professor McGonagall interjected as she walked into the massive room leading Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley and Cho Chang into the room with their luggage. "And Professor Snape will be chaperoning you. Remember that this trip is a trial. If this does not go well, it will never happen again. So I hope that each and every one of you behaves yourself. Am I understood?"

"Yes, ma'am." They all chorused.

She huffed in approval and turned to discuss something with Severus.

The students tuned out the teachers conversation, looking at each other with malice.

"A whole year with you lot. This is going to be horrible." Draco hissed.

"Well, we aren't exactly looking forward to it either," Neville retorted. At that moment, a small delicate hand slipped into Neville's larger one. Neville looked down and smiled sheepishly into Luna's ice blue eyes.

"Oi! Look at this," Draco crowed. "Longbottom's got 'imself a girlfriend. How sweet!"

Ron glowered. "Shove off, Malfoy!" He brandished his wand at Malfoy.

"Ron, no!" Hermione cried out, stepping between Ron and Draco. "Do you want to get kicked out of the program before we even leave?"

Draco smirked behind her. "Better listen to your _girlfriend_, Weasley! Boy, didn't think you needed a girl to fight your battles for you."

Ron's brow furrowed in anger at the comment, and he raised his wand to cast but was quickly halted by the firm, no-nonsense look that Hermione shot him. Relucantly, he lowered his wand. Malfoy's smirk grew wider in satisfaction.

"Face it, Malfoy," Harry chimed in with a slight smile. "You're just jealous 'cause the three of us have something you don't." Harry indicated Luna, Ginny and Hermione beside their respective boyfriends. "Not to mention the fact that your goons deserted you."

Draco opened his mouth to retort when he was quickly silenced by McGonagall's invading voice.

"May I have your attention, everyone?" McGonagall addressed them. "You each will be given a modest budget for clothing and necessities. Until you board the outgoing Hogwarts Express, I must ask you to wear your school robes over the casual clothes you are now wearing. You are going to a muggle high school in South-Western Canada. It's a relatively modest-sized student body. It has been decided that all but Miss Weasley and Lovegood with be placed in the," she consulted the parchment in her hand, "Grade 12 classes. Whereas they with be in the," she looked at the parchment again. "Grade 10 classes. Remember, you will be interacting with muggle teenagers in very close quarters so magical devices will be confiscated from you before you leave the grounds of this school. You will be allowed to only keep your wands but are never to use them in mixed company. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Professor," everyone grumbled.

At that moment, Filch appeared carrying something that looked strangely akin to a flashlight -- obviously a magical device sensor of sorts. He passed the device over each student and their respective luggage looking for offending items, occasionally finding one and relieving the student of it. As he worked. McGonagall turned to Snape.

"Is there anything you would like to add, Severus?"

"Indeed." Snape replied curtly, assuming his most imposing stance. "I have but five rules. One: Any magic cast while in the company of muggles will result in expulsion from the program and you'll be sent you back to Hogwarts on a one-way broom for Professor McGonagall to deal with you. Two: You will keep a journal of your experiences which will be reviewed by me on a regular basis. Three: For the duration of this trip you will address me as 'Sir.' Not 'professor' nor 'Mister' -- and anyone to even attempt to call me 'Sevvy' will find themselves in infinite pain. Four: You will be required to participate in at least one extra-curricular activity which must also be discussed in your journals. And finally: Be on your absolute best behaviour. I am well aware of the mutual animosity you share. Any word of abuse or sabatose will be dealt with. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir." They chorused again.

Snape nodded satisfactorily. "If you will take your trunks and head to the train, we will head off. When we reach London, only then will you receive your plane tickets before heading to the airport. When we touched down at the T.M.A., I will have additional instructions for you."

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The flight overseas was relatively uneventful, save for a delayed take off and Malfoy's constant flirting with the stewardess. At one point, Malfoy had overheard the stewardess he had been hitting on asking Neville if he wanted to join the 'mile-high club.' To which Neville had innocently replied:

"I really don't fly that often to make it worthwhile."

Harry, who had been sitting between Neville and Malfoy, laughed out hard, spraying his coke out his nose.

Malfoy sat the rest of the flight in angery silence.

When the plane finally landed, Snape lead the group out of the terminal, all of them having changed by now out of their robes. Even Snape, who was wearing a rather well-tailored grey sports jacket and nice jeans. At the baggage claim, Snape turned to address the group.

"Attention, please. As mentioned before we had set off, you will each be given a weekly stiple of 20 Galleons which, roughly converted, is approximately $100 dollars in Canadian currency. You will receive no more than this on a weekly basis, so I suggest you spend it wisely. I have your envelopes with your initial allowance and your class schedules. The Ministry has arranged for a van to meet us out front of the airport. Since Miss Granger in the only one with a Muggle driver's license, I ask that she drive us to our destination." Severus said as he handed out the envelopes. "Collect your trunks."

"Sir," Ginny interjected meekly. "What about where we'll be living?"

Severus replied with barely a glance at the girl. "The Ministry has taken care of that as well."

Sure enough, a dark blue caravan waiting for them.

"Uhh," Harry started. "Sir, we're not all going to fit in there, not with the luggage as well."

Severus rolled his eyes in annoyance at Harry. "I assure you, Mr Potter, the vehicle is larger than it appears."

So the boys were given the task of hauling the trunks into the vehicle. When it came time for everyone to get themselves into the van, the kids were surprised to discover that the vehicle was indeed larger inside than it looked. Harry turned a questioning glance to Snape who, at that moment, was presently stowing his wand in the inside pocket of his jacket.

With Hermione's turn of the key in the van's ignition, and Snape's 'impeccable navigational skills' with the map, they were off to 3 Bidwell Street in Tillsonburg, Ontario.

It wasn't long before someone broke the ever-growing silence.

"How much further?" Malfoy asked, his voice tinged with annoyance.

"Farther," Hermione replied from the driver's seat.

"What?" Malfoy growled.

Hermione flicked her gaze to him via the rear view mirror. "Farther describes actual distance, further is more figurative."

"So you're a dictionary now?" he sneered.

"I'm sorry I'm smarter than you," Hermione retorted.

Approximately 30 minutes later. The van pulled up the driveway of a four story house (which included both a basement and attic). It also contained a living room, dining room and kitchen. The yard was bare save for a few maple and pine trees and bordered the rim of a large gully.

"Alright." Severus said, calling everyone's attention once again. "There are three large rooms on the second floor. The student rooms are on either side of the corridor leading to the upstairs lavatory: boys in one, girls in the other. Go unpack and settle in. Tea will be served promptly at 2o'clock, dinner at 6:30."

The boys grumbled under their breath at having to room together but did as instructed.

They found the rooms easily enough. Just as Snape had said, the rooms were separated by a short hallway that ended in a quite roomie washroom, complete with a sliding door shower. Opposite of the student rooms sat another bedroom, obviously Snape's room.

Inside the boys room, the walls were painted an off-white with a bed in each corner, a nightstand and dresser beside each, and large writing desk against the far wall with a large bookcase on either side. Ron had poked his head briefly into the girls room and saw that it was decorated in much the same way, except the walls were painted a dusty rose.

Quickly, the boys each chose a bed and heaved their trunks up onto the mattress to unpack.

Harry grabbed his dufflebag and dumped the entire contents onto his bed. Candy, toys, a laptop, three different types of GameBoys, a cd walkman, some cd's, a few articles of muggle clothing, and other various items were strewn across his mattress.

Malfoy crossed the room to scrutinize the muggle items. "What the bloody hell is all this?"

Harry shrugged. "Most of this stuff I never had a chance to use because of the anti-muggle technology enchantments around the castle." He grabbed the laptop and turned to put it on the writing desk. "I nicked the gameboys from my cousin Dudley's room last year before he and my aunt and uncle were relocated to safety."

Malfoy picked up one of the gameboys and turned it over in his hands. After a moment, he turned a questioning look to Harry. Harry smiled slightly, picked up his Pokemon Silver game, and held it out. Malfoy's hand darted out greedily and he retreated to his bed with the game and player in tow.

"What, no thank you?" Harry called after him.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll remember in my will, okay?" Malfoy grumbled as he fumbled to work the machine.

Neville watched as Harry tacked a poster at the head of his bed.

"Who's that?" Neville pointed at the poster. "Is it one of your household gods?"

Harry looked quizzically at his friend and then to the poster. It was a picture of the animated character Daffy Duck. Harry laughed out hard before replying. "That's Daf— Yeah, well, in a way I suppose it is. It's sort of the Egyptian god of frustration."

Neville seemed satisfied with the answer as he turned back to his own trunk. Behind him, Harry and Ron shared a silent chuckle.

It wasn't long before the boys had nearly everything unpack when a light knock souded on the closed door.

Cho's voice flitted through the crack between the door and it's frame.

"Boys. Tea-time."

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Harry was the last to arrive downstairs. The tea set, polished silver and bright, had been laid out on the livingroom coffee table, and everyone else was seated around the room waiting for him.

"About time, Mr Potter," Snape said hautily

"Sorry," he replied meekly and sat down in the empty space on the couch between Ron and Ginny.

Snape leaned toward the table and began pouring the tea.

"Tomorrow, will be your first day of school so this evening we will head over to the local mall. There you will purchase clothing and school supplies. Remember, what you have is what you get. Buy necessities, then see to other needs. There are laundry facilities in the basement. For those unfamiliar with such things, I'm sure your roommates will aid you. There is a chore list written on the dry-erase board in the kitchen. It is written in permanent marker so it cannot be changed." Snape eyed the boys at the statement, seemingly relishing their groans of displeasure. "As for bathroom time, the schedule will be up to the eight of you to decide upon."

Ginny picked up a piece of melba toast from the tray. "Sir, what about magic? Are we not allowed to use it at all?"

"Magic will be used only in the confines of this structure, and only when deemed absolutely necessary," Snape replied. "This program is intended to give you an idea of how the other half of the world lives. You may decided you like the muggle way of things.

Malfoy dipped a cookie into his tea and popped it in his mouth. "I can't imagine anyone not wanting to use magic if given half the chance."

"For your information, Mr Malfoy," Snape growled, over the rim of his cup. "I've known many a witch and wizard who returned to the muggle world after leaving Hogwarts, rarely using their magic."

The rest of tea-time was had in silence.

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"The Town Center Mall," Severus said as they walked up to the entrance. "We will be here until 9o'clock. You will need to see to some school clothes. This is a relatively small town so their schools do not have uniforms," Snape sneered at this, as if saying the words left a bad taste in his mouth. "Do not go wandering off alone, stay in groups of at least two. I will be waiting for you in the food court are down this way," he pointed to the right of where they stood. "Be on your best behaviour. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," they chorused as one before heading off.

For awhile, they stayed in one large mass, until they passed a clothing store causing Ginny and Cho to veer off. A minute later, they lost Hermione and Luna to a book store.

Looking around at the different stores, the boys tried to decide where to go first. Harry pointed to a store that expanded across a wall a good 25 ft. Above the entrance was a neon red sign that read "Zellers".

"How 'bout here? It looks like they have everything we might need," he suggested.

With no one having any better ideas, the others agreed and they went in.

After choosing a few outfits, the boys took to the change rooms to try on their clothes.

"Okay, guys, what about this? Do you think I could pull this off?" Ron asked coming out of his fitting room. Turning around in a full circle, he displayed the loud hawaiian-style shirt and brown corderoy pants he wore.

Neville pulled a face. "Ugh!" he replied. "Pull it off and throw it away!"

The boys laughed together as Ron headed back in to try on another outfit.

Next Malfoy emerged wearing and pair of tight acid-washed jeans and a black shirt that said "I used up all my sick days, so I'll calling in dead!" Malfoy admired his outfit in the mirror before he noticed a pair of teenage girls in the reflection. He turned to look and them and put on his most charming smile.

"Ladies," he said in that British drawl of his. Their response was to giggle wildly and run away, blushing. Malfoy looked immensely please with himself.

"That was fun," he said to no one in particular.

Neville, Ron and Harry's response was simply to roll their eyes in annoyance.

Once the boys had picked out a couple outfits each, they moved on the the school supplies department.

Remarkably, the excursion didn't take as long as any of them had expected. By the time they met back up, everyone was certain they had everything they would need for the time being with a few dollars each to spare. Satisfied with their purchases, and with as minimal grumbling as possible from Malfoy, they all headed of to meet back up with Snape.

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Okay, this is my first HP fic. Please review and tell me what you think. Hopefully, the next chapter won't be far off.

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	2. I'm Late, I'm Late For A Very Important

_**Chapter 2: I'm Late, I'm Late For A Very Important Date**_

"WAKE UP!"

Harry and Neville moved throughout the room getting their bookbags together for their first day. Ron was still dead asleep and Malfoy was trying to wake the boy.

"WAKE THE BLOODY HELL UP!" Malfoy yelled again, throwing a shoe at Ron's sleeping form. Malfoy's face was reddening with anger with each passing moment.

Hermione leaned against the open door's frame, smirking at the scene before her. "You'll never wake him up that way."

Malfoy threw his other shoe at Ron before turning to Hermione. "Well if you think you can do any better, be my guest."

Hermione's smile widened slightly as she pushed away from her place and leaned over Ron. With her mouth poised next to his ear, Hermione dropped her voice several octaves into a sultry whisper. "Ron," she began lightly, her breath ruffling the hair above his ear. "Ron, I want you. I need you bad. I--"

Hermione was suddenly cut off by her boyfriend bolting upright.

"Bloody hell!" he blurted out. This caused Harry, Neville and Hermione to burst out laughing while Malfoy just shot Hermione a look of bemused approval.

Ron looked around the room, bleary-eyed. "Why the effing hell did you do that, 'Mione?"

"It's almost time to head off for school," she replied, heading out into the hall, still smiling. "I'll wait for you downstairs."

Harry laughed out hard. "Come on, get your kicks on," he said, tossing some clothes to his friend.

Neville led the quartet downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. Ron was bringing up the rear, tucking his shirt haphazardly into his pants and he moved. The instant they came within 2 feet of the kitchen a strong smell that smelled strangely akin to wet socks, wafted over them.

"Oh, God, what's that smell?" Neville gagged. "I hope it's not breakfast."

Luna looked up from the pot she was stirring on the stove. "I'm making an herbal sleep remedy."

Malfoy peered suspiciously at the pot. "Remind me never to get insomnia."

Immediately, Harry and Ron made their way over to Ginny and Hermione at the table to give them a good morning kiss before sliding into the chairs next to their respective girlfriends.

"I've had one of those terrible dreams again!" Harry said to Ginny as he buttered a slice of toast. "We were getting married!"

"Oh!" Ginny inquired warily.

"No, that's the good part. Then, my family showed up," he replied.

Ginny sipped at her orange juice. "Oh, and they objected?"

"Well...they had issues."

"Don't worry," she replied, smiling again. "I wrote a speech in case that happens. Well, actually it's just two words. One of them's 'off.'"

At that moment, Severus swept into the kitchen, his hair slightly tosseled from sleep and a housecoat tied firmly at his midsection.

"Good morning, sir," Hermione piped up cheerfully. "Slept well?"

Snape growled low at her in response as he made a beeline for the tea pot.

"Sir," Malfoy interjected. "Sir, can you stop her from bein' cheerful this early in the morning, please?"

Severus looked at the blonde boy for a moment before replying. "I do not believe there's a power in the universe that can stop Miss Granger from being cheerful."

"I here that," Ron chimed in around a mouthful of cereal. "Sometimes you just want to duct-tape her mouth, and┘ dump her in the basement for a month."

The snide remark earned him a sharp jab in the ribs, causing him to slightly choke on his meal.

"Hey," Cho piped up, her gaze glued to the paper in her hands. "I don't think we've got very many classes together."

There was a rustling of papers as everyone whipped out their class schedules, comparing them.

"We've only got half our classes at the same time," Neville observed. "And even then, not all of us."

Eight pairs of eyes turned to Snape for an explanation.

"Your classes were chosen according to interests and abilities," he explained. He then flicked his eyes to the clock on the wall, the minute hand slowly clicking over to cover the eleven. The man moved to the table and took a seat before fixing the teens before him with a cool, collected stare. "The bus will be around to collect you in five minutes. It will picked you up and drop you off out front."

Instantly, there was a flurry of activity as the kids gulped down the remainder of their meals and scurried to get on their shoes and jackets. And just as quickly as the commotion had stirred, it suddenly stilled, leaving Severus in the large house all by his lonesome.

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The eight teens soon found themselves standing out front of a massive two storey, red brick building. As one, their gaze travelled up, taking in the foreign structure. With a nervous glance between them, the group walked through the front doors of the school.

"Wow," Ginny exhaled heavily, looking around at the people bustling around them. "This is nothing like Hogwarts." After a moment, she pulled a slip of paper out of her bag. "It says here that we're supposed to go to the Guidance office for our locker assignments." She paused, looking quizzically at the others. "What's a locker?"

Hermione giggled. "Those are lockers." She pointed to the row of metal cabinets that stretched down either side of the hall. "It's for storing books and personal items you don't really need often. They have locks on them with a combination that only you are given. Hence the name 'lockers.'"

"Well where is this 'Guidance office?'" Malfoy huffed impatiently. He looked around at the students passing them before stepping in the path of a long-haired blonde girl. "Excuse me?" he drawled out, putting on his most charming smile.

The girl giggled wildly, her face flushing red as she looked Malfoy up and down. She tucked a bit of hair behind her ear flirtaciously. "Can I help you?" She asked.

"Might you direct us to the Guidance office?"

"Sure," she replied, giggling again. "It's over there," she pointed, "on the other side of these stairs. You can't miss it."

"Thank you," Malfoy replied, flashing her another smile.

The girl blushed again. "You're welcome," she muttered, and then retreated back the way she came.

Malfoy turned to the others. "I think I may like this place."

Ron scowled at Malfoy, leading the group to the door that the girl had indicated. "Man whore."

With tentative steps, the eight of them filed into the clearly marked Guidance office. The room was, for the most part, deserted, save for the audible steady clicking coming from a room in the back. Following the sound, Harry lead the group to the slightly ajar door and knocked softly. Even though the force behind the knock was as light as a feather, the door inched open farther revealling a young woman, possibly mid to late 20's, sitting behind a desk. She was staring intently at a computer screen.

The woman looked up as the door's motion. "Yes? Can I help you?"

"We're foreign exchange..." Harry had barely gotten out before the woman suddelny cut him off.

"Oh, yes, yes, yes," she replied, pulling off the glasses that perched on her nose. "I've been expecting you. Come in, sit down." She pulled out a large file folder from her desk caddy and flipped it open on the desk before looking back up at the teens before her.

"I'm Miss Dredge," she said pleasantly, passing a packet of papers to the kids. "I'll be acting as your go-between for you and the school administration. In your packets you'll find your individual locker assignment and combination, student ID number, a map of the school,and a booklet of the school's rules of conduct. There is also a slip a parent or guardian will need to sign and be returned. Basically, it's just for information on what the school will need to do for you in case of emergency such as a sudden snow day or you're injured and we need to contact someone on your behalf. The yearly pictures will be taken in a few weeks. A short time later you'll have a student card issued to you which also doubles as your library card should you wish to take anything out. Any questions?"

"I have one," Cho squeaked lightly. She looked down at her class schedule then over to Ginny's and Ron's. "I see that there are the names of colours written on our papers, what do they mean?

"Those are your houses," Miss Dredge replied. The kids shared an amused/quizzical look between them. "Black, Green, Blue, and White. House points are awared during special events: sports games, charity benefits, the winter carnivale and such. At the end of the year, the house with the most points gets a special end of year field trip. Anything else?"

"No," was the unified response as the kids took a moment to rifle through there information packets.

Miss Dredge smiled pleasantly. "I hope your experience here will be a positive one. A word to the wise though, be wary of who you ask for help. Many of the seniors get restless in there final year and turn to pulling pranks on younger students. Lastly, tomorrow, there will be an assembly in the gymnasium. Each year, we make new students aware of what extra-curricular activities are offered during the year."

The woman looked up at the clock. "Now, you have about 10 minutes before first bell rings. I suggest you all find your way to your homerooms to avoid getting swept up in the daily stampede."

The kids all nodded and moved to leave, eack thanking her as they went.

"Good luck," she called after them as the kids disappeared out into the main hall.

Outside the Guidance office, the kids all stopped to take their first real look at their schedules. Harry was the first to speak.

"Looks like the only class we all have together is Choir," he noted. "And it looks like all of us except Ginny and Luna have fifth period free."

Ginny and Luna squealed in unison, pointing at their papers.

"Look!" Ginny elated.

"All afternoon together!" Luna finished. They hugged and jumped up and down happily.

Harry and Ron shared a look before they squealed, too, mocking the girls display.

"Look," Ron mocked, jumping like his sister had. "We've got lunch together!"

"Yay!" The boys half-squealed/half laughed.

Ginny fixed her brother and her boyfriend with an icy glare. "Horse's arse!" she muttered.

Ginny and Luna stomped away down one corridor, but not before Luna kissed Neville and bid him goodbye for now. The others followed suit until all that was left was Draco staring helplessly at his map. He called after the other.

"Thanks for the help!" he sneered. After a moment of scrutinizing the map again, he turned uncertainly down a corridor and began his search.

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All too soon, third period rolled around, and with it came Choir class. The girls all arrived in the music room only to be greeting by the sight of Ron and Neville in a dueling match with a couple of drumsticks.

"Better not let the teacher catch you," Hermione chirped, giving Ron a peck on the cheek.

Ron straigthened up. "Oh, right." The boys promptly put the sticks down.

Draco craned his neck, taking in the size of the room, before his gaze dropped back to his fellow students. Instantly, his attention was immediately drawn to a sandy hair girl on the far side of the room standing amongst a group of other girls. She was giggled and glancing at him.

"Insipid mudblood," he muttered. "She better not get any ideas."

The bell chose to ring at that moment, signalling to students who had not already arrived to their classrooms that they should do so in a speedy fashion. The music room door opened once again and in walked a tall, lankey, thirty-something man with dark hair and glasses.

"Look, Potter," Draco whispered merrily. "Behold, your future."

"Shut it!" Harry volleyed back.

"Good day, class," the teacher began. "I'm Mr. Steers." He looked down at the folder in his hands. "I see from my notes that we've got a few new bodies this year. I'm sure we can figure out your pitch type with no problems at all." Mr. Steers looked pointedly at Harry and his group. "Please stand and introduce yourself, and we'll get you all sorted in no time."

Nervously, Harry rose to his feet.

"Hi, my name's Harry Potter..."

A bubbling of giggled rose up from somwhere in the back of the class. Harry blushed wildly.

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**A/N**: Sorry for the short chapter. I promise that the next one will be longer.

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	3. Three Strikes and You're Out

_**Chapter 3: Three Strikes and You're Out**_

"Students of Glendale High, your attention, please," announced the voice of Mrs. Johnston, the school's principal, from over the school wide P.A. system.

Ron turned to look at Harry, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Is that the voice in my head again that tells me to kill Malfoy?"

"No," Harry mirrored Ron's smile. "That voice is lower and has a French accent."

The pair stood at the phone kiosk near the gym as they waited for the others to join them. The kiosk was placed half way between the school's main entrance and the cafeteria, and directly across from the administration office. The rest of their party would have to pass by the kiosk eventually. Choir class had passed by relatively uneventful, and the others dispersed to their lockers to drop of their books before regrouping for lunch.

All too soon, Malfoy's cackling voice could be heard drifting down the hall. Both Harry and Ron turned to see Neville, surrounded by the girls, looking more than a little distressed. Malfoy was bringing up the rear of the group, almost doubled over in laughter.

"Oi!" Ron started, looking at Neville. "What's wrong with you?"

"Neville had a run-in with a couple seniors," Cho explained. "They trapped him in the Idiot Box."

Ron and Harry shared a quizzical expression between them before turning back to the others for clarification."

"I heard a couple girls in my Creative Writing class talking about it," Hermione explained. "There's this enclosed courtyard in the middle of the school. Anyone can go into it, but if the door isn't propped open, it'll shut and lock."

Ginny patted Neville's hand comfortingly. "Neville made the mistake of asking the wrong people where the Library was." Ginny thrust a finger at Malfoy. "He happened upon Neville trying to get out. If we hadn't been looking for the Library, too, I don't think he would've let Neville out."

There was a long pause.

"Well," Ron breathed. "Who's hungry?"

Hermione glared at Ron. "Food?! Is that all you can think of at a time like this?!"

"You mean lunchtime?" the red-head retorted. "Look, Neville's fine. He got out. Why dwell on it?"

Hermione scowled at Ron's callousness and stormed on ahead of the group, leading the way into the cafeteria.

This massive room was rather bright compared to most of the rest of the school. Large windows lined the entire length of the far wall, and the room was littered with long folding tables.

"Well," Ginny said, taking in the new surroundings. "Isn't this just a horse of a different colour?" She looked up at the others. "Am I the only one missing the house elves right now?"

The others nodded their heads silently in agreement. At the far end of the room, the group observed students lining up along a long glass covered counter.

"That must be the food line," Cho noted audibly.

Hermione, still furious over Ron's casual dismissal of Neville's recent predicament, stalked towards the line and grabbed a tray. The boy in front of her in the line was taking forever to decide between a veggie burger and a meatless lasagne. This only added fuel to her fire.

"Would you just hurry up!" Hermione snapped at the boy.

The teen turned to look at Hermione. "Y'know, you really ought to respect other people's dietary rights."

Hermione placed a plate of fries on her tray along with a sub and orange juice from the cooler, paid the cashier and stormed back past the boy. "Shove it, veggie boy," she hissed, returning to the others. "Bloody forest..." she murmured to herself. "Damn tree-huggers and daisy-eaters... burn 'em all..."

By this time, the others had chosen a table near the back of the room by the windows, taking turns getting their lunches so no one would usurp their table.

Ron sat across from Hermione with his lunch. For several minutes, they ate in silence.

"Look, I'm sorry," Ron blurted out finally. "But Neville's not holding it against me, why are you?"

Hermione shot a glare at Ron. "Because, Ron, all you ever think about lately is yourself, your own wants and needs. If you think I'm going to spend the rest of my life with a self-absorbed narcissist then you best prepare for a rude awakening!"

Another long silence clouded over the table before Ron replied to his girlfriend's outburst.

"All the same, I really am sorry." Ron looked at Hermione, his eyes twinkling slightly. "I didn't mean to have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

Hermione stared at him for a moment before bursting out in wild giggles, the others immediately following suit.

"Stop it," Hermione finally said, trying to get her giggling under control. "I'm trying to be mad at you and you're not making it a very easy job for me."

"Sorry," he replied, the twinkling still present in his gaze. "Emo-teaspoon Ron will attempt to be less mirth making." This resulted in another round of laughter.

Ron picked up the book Hermione had laid on her tray and looked at it.

"Hmmmmm, 'The Telltale Heart,'" he said, reading the book's title. "I love romance novels!"

Hermione wryly and plucked the book from Ron's grasp. "Yeah, nothing says "be mine" like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard." She put the book back on the table. "I've got to read it for English class.

Harry held up a novel as well, pulling it from the stack of books he had toted with him. "I'm supposed to read 'Hamlet'."

Ron's brow furrowed. "Haven't read it. What's it about?"

Harry smiled slightly. "The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy and a good-looking mommy. Uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story...but there it is."

Hermione smiled slightly. "Isn't that the plot to 'The Lion King'?"

Harry and Hermione stared a brief laugh, leaving Ron looking confused as ever between the two of them. The atmosphere then descended into quiet as the group began to finish up their respective meals.

Luna stood and moved over to the garbage can to empty her tray of the debris her lunch had created when a large, muscle-toned senior bumped into her.

"Watch it, Pip-squeak!" the boy growled.

Instantly, Ron, Neville and Harry began to rise out of their seats and leap to Luna's defense. Their ascent was abruptly halted by Hermione.

"No," Hermione whispered. "Let Luna handle this."

Without missing a beat, Luna looked up at the boy towering over her with a calm and collected gaze. She hardened her face with resolve. "I may be small but allow me to remind you that only serves to put me at castration level."

The boy stared at Luna with wide-eyed disbelief before his attention was suddenly redirected. With a wary look back at Luna, the boy moved on to re-join his friends.

Smiling as only she could, Luna turned back to the table only to be greeted with approving smiles and hearty congratulations for her uncharacteristic boldness.

"Uh, Longbottom," Malfoy interjected for the first since they arrived in the cafeteria. "This might be a bit awkward but I feel obligated to ask you about your relationship with Loony." Suddenly, Malfoy's eyes glinted mischieviously. "Is she naughty? I bet she's a hellcat."

Neville regarded the blonde boy with an emotionless stare. "Get help, Malfoy."

"Never mind," Draco grinned wide. "It's better up here." He pointed to his head.

Neville sighed in annoyance and turned to look full on at Draco. "Malfoy, I'm going to put this as nicely as I possibly can. If you do not bugger off, I am going to cut off your head, put it in the oven until it turns pink, mash it up with a bit of milk and butter, AND RAM IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

"Oooooo," Malfoy replied mockingly. "I'm sooooo scared. Help, Longbottom's gonna hurt me ... please!"

Another sigh and Neville turned to Harry. "If I stab this fork into his thigh will I get in trouble?"

Harry shrugged non-committedly. "Not if you make it look like an accident." Harry stuffed the last piece of his sandwich into his mouth as he pulled out his afternoon schedule. Suddenly, he frowned.

"Ugh!" he groaned. "I've got phys. ed. next!" he looked up at the others. "What kind of sadistic freak schedules gym class after lunch?"

"What the matter, Potter," Draco sneered. "Afraid you're gonna break a sweat and actually get some exercise?"

Harry glowered. "Shut it, Malfoy! If we weren't surrounded by mu--" Harry glanced around nervously to see if anyone was listening to the exchange before correcting himself. "I mean, people, and we were allowed to do you-know-what, I'd give you whatfor!"

"Oooooo," was Malfoy's only retort. "Doesn't matter anyway, 'cause it looks like I'm gonna have a front row seat. I've got gym next to."

Harry cast a questioning glance to Neville and Ron. Both boys held up their schedules too, pointing and nodded. Harry breathed a sigh of relief, well, at least he wouldn't have to endure Malfoy's presence alone.

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The quartet of boys stood in the boys locker room a short time later. Malfoy, Neville and Ron we're already changed into their gym clothes. The latter two of which were waiting patiently for Harry to finish up his changing. Only Malfoy seemed impatient, rapping his well-manicured nails against the tiled wall.

"Oh, will you hurry up already!" Malfoy sneered.

Harry glowered silently at Malfoy before looking at the other two.

"You blokes go on ahead, I'll be along in a minute."

Ron nodded. "Sure thing, mate." The read head led the way out into the gym.

Harry waited a beat, waiting for the gym door to close tightly, before pulling his shirt and trousers off. He reached into his bookbag and pulled out the green and gold gym uniform he had been issued.

Harry had just snapped the waistband of his shorts around his waist when a creaking sound reached his ears. Curiously, the ebon-haired boy peered around the seemingly empty room.

"Is anyone there?" he called out warily. When he recieved no answer, Harry shrugged.

_Hmmmm, my imagination I guess._

No sooner had Harry turned back around to finish dressing did the creaking nose come again, louder this time. Harry straightened himself up to his full height, turning around sharply.

Harry's eyes grew as wide as saucers.

"What the?" he breathed incredulously. There, no less than 5 feet away, hovered an aluminum baseball bat. All by itself in mid-air.

"Malfoy?" he called out cautiously. "Malfoy?" Honestly, who else could it have been.

Suddenly, the bat twitched and shot towards Harry. Amazingly, Harry managed to dodge the first swing, even the second. The third, however, caught Harry squarely upside the head.

Slowly as Harry slipped into unconsiousness, he could feel the bat continue to pummel him. Try as he might, all Harry could do was manage a whimper.

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**Author's Note**: Uh-oh! Does this spell the end for the Boy Who Lived? Having survived, Voldemort not once, not twice, but no less than seven times to finally, in the end, be taken out by a piece of muggle sports equipment? To find out this and more, watch for the next installment.

And please do review, as a writer I thrive on such! ... Promises of treats to speed up the process wouldn't hurt either :D

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	4. Do Not Pass Go

_**Chapter 4: Do Not Pass Go**_

The beep of the EKG machine slowly faded into Harry's consciousness, along with the muted sounds of worried voices. When Harry's eyes finally flitted open, his vision slowly cleared and the sight of Ginny's tear stained face came into view. Turning his head -- and wincing at the pain the simple action created -- Harry saw the others clustered nearby.

"Harry!" Ginny started, quickly calling the attention of the others. Ron and Hermione were the first to reach the other bedside.

Snape, who had been standing at the far end of the bed looking with disgust at the whirring muggle medical equipment, suddenly snapped a steely gaze onto Harry.

"Well, Mr Potter," Snape began in an emotionless, even tone. "You truly are the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Pain-In-My-Ass."

On unsteady arms, Harry pushed himself up into a sitting position. "What happened?"

Hermione took one of Harry's limp hands into her own. "You tell us."

"Yeah mate," Ron chimed in. "When you didn't show in class, Coach Alexander sent Neville to look for you."

Neville nodded in the affirmative. "Yeah. When I walked into the locker room you were lying on the floor all beat up and bruised."

"So, the question is back to you, Mr Potter," Snape interjected. "What exactly befell you?"

Harry's brow furrowed as he tried to think. As best he could recollect, he relayed the story of the baseball bat with a mind of it's own. When he finished, Harry looked around at his companions faces. A long silence settled over the hospital room before being broken by a hard, frustrated sigh.

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, a sure sign that a tension headache was not far off. "Mr Potter, if you are going to lie, be creative or I'll get bored."

Harry huffed. "I'm not lying, sir!" Harry looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "The bat must've been hexed." He turned a suspicious eye onto Malfoy.

"Hey!" Draco snapped. "You can just get that though outta your head right now." He turned a pleading tone onto Snape. "I assure you, sir, I didn't have anything to do with this. There is a class full of people that can attest to that." He shot a dark look back at Harry. "Despite being trapped in the muggle world with you and your lot, I am not looking to get myself discharged from the program."

Cho wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Well, if it wasn't you...?"

"There must be other witches or wizards in the school," Luna finished for the Asian witch.

Hermione shook her bushy mane. "But why would anyone want to hurt Harry?"

"I don't know, maybe because they met him," Malfoy snorted. The only response he received was a multi-directional glare, and he quickly clammed up.

Snape turned his attention back onto Harry. "Only you, Mr Potter, could manage to make an enemy on the very first day of classes," he sneered. "I will go speak to medical staff now to arrange your release. Remain here." Snape then pivoted sharply on his heals and glided out the door. Even without his trademark black robes billowing behind him, Snape always seemed to make a grande exit.

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It wasn't long before Harry was released and soon found himself back at the house. The doctor had instructed at least a day or so of rest and staying off his feet, which meant that Harry was forced to spend the whole of the next day alone with Snape while the others were at school.

Both of them lounged in the livingroom, Snape sitting rather stoically with that day's newspaper and a cup of tea, and Harry with his pocket computer monopoly game. The silence was intermittedly interrupted by the games soft beeps and Harry's occasional quips to his game turns.

"Go to jail," Harry said with a slight smile. "Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 and do not, I repeat, do not drop the soap."

Snape sighed heavily in frustration. "Must you do that, you insufferable child?"

"Oh come on, sir!" Harry replied. "I'm bored. I have to do something to keep myself occupied."

"You must have some homework from yesterday," Snape returned, almost pleadingly.

Harry returned his attention to his game. "Surprisingly, not all teachers are slave driver's on the first day of school." Harry glance up at Snape over his game. "Unlike SOME who shall remain nameless."

Snape opened his mouth to throw back and angry retort when he was quickly silenced by a knock. The man took a brief moment to glower at Harry before going to answer the door.

Snape flung to door open only to see a young 20-something woman standing on the doorstep. The woman was dressed in a rather well cut green dress suit, her hair pulled back into a bun, and a pair of glass perched gently on the bridge of her nose.

Snape looked at her evenly. "Can I help you?"

The woman smiled at him warmly. Snape suppressed and grimace to keep his composure."

"Hello, my name is Sarah Dredge. I'm the guidance councillor at Glendale High School. I just wanted to stop by and see how Harry is doing." Sarah looked down at a notebook in her hands. "Are you Severus Snape?"

Snape growled in annoyance. "This is Severus Snape's house. This is Severus Snape's table! This is Severus Snape's wind chime! Which part of this progression escapes you?!"

Sarah barely flinched at Severus' outburst, continuing to regard him in the same friendly manner she had begun with. "Mr Snape, it sounds like you may have a tad bit of an anger problem. Perhaps you should speak to someone about it."

"I don't have an anger problem," he sneered. "I have an idiot problem!"

Well," Sarah continued. "In any case, I just wanted to see how Harry was doing. Also, I wanted to drop of some information on this year's extra-curricular activities since Harry won't be able to attend the fair this evening." Sarah pulled a duotang out of her briefcase and handed it to Snape. "Please, do tell Harry I hope he gets better soon, and the principal is looking into the attack."

Snape nodded curtly, and for the briefest of moments, Snape seemed to lose control over his functions because his gaze began to drift down over Sarah's lithe form before snapping back up to her face.

"Goodbye, Mr Snape," Sarah smiled again and moved away towards what was obviously her car in the driveway.

Severus waited a beat before closing the door and returning to the livingroom.

"Who was at the door?" Harry piped up as Snape came into sight.

Snape looked down at the booklet in his hands. "Your guidance councillor." He tossed it had Harry, to which he caught quickly. "She left this for you. Now perhaps you can give that infernal muggle contraption a rest."

Snape returned to his seat and picked the newspaper back up. As he tried to re-focus on the words before him one thought pressed itself into his mind.

_How did I ever allow Minerva to talk me into participating in this infernal experiment?!?_

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